AA Meeting
by Nanyoky
Summary: This is a parody with mainly anime, but there are a couple normal haha characters in it. This is a group effort with me and RiverGoddess16 so it should be pretty interesting! I think it should be pretty fun, even if you don't know all the characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay! Neither of us have done a crossover before... so this is going to be very interesting! Things will also be spiced up by the fact that I do not know some of RiverGoddess's characters and she doesn't know some of mine. I want everyone to have a chance to read this and enjoy the randomness, so I'll put up a character description at the beginning of each chapter. We'll start pretty small, just three people first off. Here they are in order of appearence:**

**Gene Starwind: From the anime, Outlaw Star. Gene is the captain of his own starship. He is a lady's man, loud, and sometimes rude and lazy. But he has a good heart under all the tough guy act. He's got bright red hair and carries a castor gun.**

**Colonel (take that! Colonel sounds way hotter than General) Roy Mustang: From the anime Full Metal Alchemist. Roy is a state alchemist with assperations to be ruler of the country. He is calm, dark, a procrastonator and stoic but a tragic past leaves him mildly emo at times. He trys to pretend that he doesn't care about anything, but he is very compationate on the inside. He has black hair and can create fire by snapping his fingers (i'm not explaining this whole deal, just watch the show.)**

**Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye: From Full Metal Alchemist. Riza is a diligent military officer who works under the command of Mustang. She is loyal, strong, calm and virtually emotionless, though she does show a softer side toward her puppy, Black Hyate. She is blonde and is the most skilled marksman you will ever meet with either hand.**

**We don't own anything... It's all someone elses.**

* * *

(A large white sign reads 'Alcoholic's anonymous meeting today' out side the door to a plain white room with vacant folding chairs. Two men sit on opposite sides of the room. One is muscular with brownish red hair and two scars on his cheek. The other wears a dark blue uniform and has dark hair and eyes. Both are silent and shift awkwardly in their chairs.) 

Gene: So...What brings you here?  
Roy: Hues made me come. He said I have a problem.  
Gene: Oh...Right - I'm Gene by the way.  
Roy: Colonel Roy Mustang - flame alchemist. (Mustang does NOT offer his hand, or even look up)  
Gene: So you work for the man then?  
Roy: If you mean the state, then yes.  
Gene: Right...Me - I'm more of the opposite...  
Roy: You're a criminal.  
Gene: I prefer the term - 'outlaw'  
Roy: You people are all the same. You try to glorify your rule breaking by giving it romantic names.  
Gene: Watch it boy - I don't take that sorta -  
Roy: Who are you calling boy?  
Gene: Oh - is there a man here besides myself (In sarcastic voice) I didn't notice!  
Roy: (Rising slowly to feet, he raises his glove threateningly) I'm going to show you how I got the name 'flame alchemist'  
Gene: (snorting) Oh please. Didn't mommy tell you not to play with fire?  
Roy:(Snaps fingers, flames shoot out and singe Gene's long hair) Nope.  
Gene: Holy -  
(Riza Hawkeye bursts through the door, she walks briskly to where the two stand.)  
Riza: What's going on here boys?  
Roy: ...Lieutenant?  
Gene: (looks at Roy) Your female officers look like this?! Where do I enlist?!  
Riza: Flattery won't get you out of this Mister Starwind. Please take your seat.  
Gene: (to Roy, whispering) I think she likes me.  
Riza: Colonel - I didn't think you'd be here.  
Roy: I ran out of goat's blood for my taboo alchemy.

Gene: Ewww! You need to get yourself a girl!

Riza: (clears throat) Let's begin our meeting by going around and introducing our selves by giving our first name and a hobby or favorite pass time.

Roy: I don't think this is necessary lieutenant - there's only three of us. I know you -and I already met meet pretty-boy Starwind.

Gene: oh common colonel! Brighten up(Looks at Riza) I think it's a good idea.

Riza: ( giving Gene an odd look) Yes.. Well...I'll start. I'm Riza, and I like to do target practice in my free time. (She looks at Roy, who is staring at the floor. he doesn't look up so she turns to Gene)

Gene:(grinning) I'm Gene. And I like to target practice too. I own a castor - great piece of equipment...Hey - Riza - how about you and me get together and... _practice,_ some time?

Riza: This is hardly the place Starwind.

(Everyone looks at Roy, who sinks lower in his chair. Riza clears her throat again)

Roy:(knowing that Riza won't let him hear the end of it) I'm Roy. And I don't have any free time. The military is my life.

Riza: Very good. Now, who would like to be the first to share how they feel about drinking?

(Silence)

Riza: Colonel - would you tell us how you feel about drinking? Do you feel guilty? As if you have no control over repressing your urge for alcohol?

Roy: No.

Riza: (annoyed) ...Mister Starwind?

Gene: I love beer! If everybody drank - there'd be no more war! Only happy men and women everywhere!

Riza: I don't think it's quite that simple.

Gene: Of coarse it is! Beer is the answer to all our problems!

Roy: No it's not - the answer to our problems is alchemy - we need to-

Gene: Shut up alchemy geek - you're just jealous cuz I'm good looking!

Roy: I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Gene: Ha! I bet you couldn't even find a date for this Saturday.

Roy: Of coarse I could. I just have better things to do.

Gene: Yeah - like transmuting goat's blood?!

Roy: It beats getting drunk and crashing for the rest of the weekend.

Riza: Gentlemen! Please! Would you both please sit back down so we can continue this meeting?

Gene: Hey - Riza - why don't we ditch Johnny rain-cloud and go get lost someplace?

Riza: Mister Starwind - I have - "

(Knock on the door)

**W00t! It's about to get a lot hotter in there! Teehee... Try to guess the next character: **

**His uniform may not be as cool as Roy's, but hey, purple is the new black. **

**Everything from his sword to his hair defies gravity... but oh... poor Zack!**

**Yes, I do realize that I need a life. Cookies for anyone who guesses it.**

**That went well I think. All things considered. Sorry for the script form, but I just don't think it would be the same any other way. **


	2. Chapter 2

** Mwahaha, and giggles. So for the first chapter you got a lovely taste of my coauthor, Rivergoddess16, now you must endure a chapter of pure Yoky insanity. Oh you lucky people you. So if you haven't already guessed, our next character is none other than:**

**Cloud Strife: From the game Final Fantasy VII. Cloud is a ex-soldier who's troubled past is enough to drive any one mad just hearing about it. Despite his violent experiences, Cloud is soft spoken, shy and caring but conflicted. He has a hard time forgiving himself for the people in his life who have died. He has gravity defying blonde hair and carries a giant broadsword.**

(A soft knock on the door and all three look up. The door opens and in steps a tall blond man with pale skin and bright blue eyes.)

Cloud: Ummm… Is this the AA meeting?

Gene: (mutters to Roy) and you called _me_ pretty boy.

Riza: (ignoring Gene) Yes please have a seat Mr.….?

Cloud: Strife.

Riza: Well Mr. Strife, we were just discussing what we do in our free time. I am Riza and I target practice, Mr. Starwind does as well, and the Colonel doesn't have any free time. What is it you do?

Cloud: … I deliver packages. On my bike.

Gene: Would it kill any of you to smile every once in awhile?

Riza: Please, now why are you here?

Cloud: Cuz Teef says her rum goes missing whenever I'm having a bad day. But I don't drink. She made me come…. She took my keys.

Riza: So you deny that you have a problem?

Cloud: Well yeah.

Roy: I don't have a problem either. I'm only here because Hues ordered me to.

Gene: God you two are pathetic.

Riza: Gentlemen! Please! If we could stay on topic for more than five seconds.

Gene: I'm sorry. It's just hard seeing these two emos drag their feet around things.

Cloud: (strangely ticked by this) I'm not dragging my feet anymore.

Riza: Well since you don't seem to want to talk about your alcoholism, let's talk about your other problems. My problem is that I have to interrogate three grown men acting childish. Colonel?

Roy: The only competent member of my staff is interrogating me on an evening that we both could be working.

Riza: Better than nothing. Mr. Starwind?

Gene: I'm flat broke with one snotty little boy, a hyperactive cat girl, a good girl, a ship and some crazy lady trying to kill me to feed.

Riza: Thank you for your honesty. Mr. Strife?

Cloud: … no comment.

Riza: Come now, everyone else has shared.

Cloud: Fine. I live with and might have feelings for my best friend growing up and am currently raising two kids that aren't mine. Oh yeah, and I sometimes can't control my mind and body. I've got mako poisoning and only recently recovered from Geostigma.

Gene: (wrinkles his nose) This friend… she's a chick right?

Cloud: (scowling) yes.

Riza: You say sometimes you can't control yourself, do you think this might have something to do with alcohol?

Cloud: No, I told you I don't drink. It's the Mako poisoning.

Riza: I'm not familiar with either of the illnesses you mentioned, could you elaborate?

Roy: Please lieutenant, could we just call it a night?

Riza: Sure (men sigh in relief) when you all make progress toward sobriety. (men groan)

Cloud and Roy: But I don't have a problem!

Gene: Is there a broken record playing in here? Hey I've got an idea, how bout the two sad saps go back to their moping and you and I can continue this discussion?

Riza: Mr. Starwind, I've already mentioned that there is a time and place for that sort of thing and that this is not it.

Gene: So how bout we go someplace that is?

Cloud: Do you happen to be related to a Turk named Reno?

Gene: What kind of a name is that?

Cloud: Don't ask me.

Riza: This is going nowhere. How about we discuss who is important to us. Colonel?

Roy: No one.

Cloud: Tifa, Marlene, Denzel… and Zack and Aeris….

Gene: Jim's a good kid, even if he's a snot. And I couldn't fly without Mel. What about you Riza?

Riza: My dog, Hayate.

Gene: So you haven't got a man?

Riza: If you're testing the waters, you're wasting your time.

Cloud: You're making me feel sick.

Gene: Why? Because you couldn't talk to a woman to save your life?

Cloud: …

Riza: (desperately trying to change the subject.) Let's talk about our lives up until now. I enlisted in the military at a young age and have been working at Central ever since.

Roy: Same.

Riza: Colonel, if you aren't going to share your life with the group then I will for you.

Roy: Fine. I enlisted in the army just before the Ishballen war. During the massacre, I made a vow to change the military for the better.

Riza: Very good Sir, Mr. Starwind?

Gene: My dad died when I was a kid. When I had enough money, I got myself a ship and headed out into space.

Riza: Hmmm… this topic seems to have potential for the two of you, how about you Mr. Strife?

Cloud: I enlisted in the military when I was fifteen. I was used as an experiment for five years… that's when I got the mako poisoning. Then my friend gave his life to save me… after that I had some memory trouble… then when Aeris died…. I started remembering again… and killed the one responsible for all of it… twice.

Riza: (blinks) Well… that's very interesting… we may have to come back to that later….

**Wee! More info on the characters in this one, just so peeps can understand them better. Sadly, the next chapter will not introduce any new characters, hot or other wise. So no dorky rhyming riddles for you! I know, you're so upset. **


End file.
